I am not sure where this post will wander, but I am along for the ride. I really have an interesting life lately, swinging wildly from one emotion to another. (I think some people describe that as Bipolar?) I actually feel like I am in a tug of war with good and evil. My beautiful spring and summer seasons are gone...put away like holiday decorations in some dark box until a later date. I love the autumn but feel the melancholy of winter racing up the street to knock on my door. I was grateful for President Monson recognition of my feelings as a mother in his talk. I am torn. I feel a need to just sit out a few dances. Let someone else be in charge and directing the cruise. And underneath it all, my Heavenly Father is there with peace and comfort as I ask Him to help me. I realize that I really 'have it all'. But it is hard to be in Satan's world with bills, insurance, necessities, etc. crawling all around my emotions. Just when I think the Great American Nervous Breakdown is about to start, an angel flies in and rescues me for a few more hours
I so enjoyed the weekend in the presence of my beautiful daughters. And they are so beautiful. I know I shouldn't have pride, but I wish they knew how stunning they are. Saturday afternoon, as I enjoyed them at Lacey's shower, I felt the Spirit whisper to me, that this was one of the tender mercies that I had been praying for.
As I lay in my husbands arms and weep, I realize how blessed I am that he is patient and understanding and 'super'.
As I look at our yard and the harvest from our garden, again, I am blessed. We have plenty to eat for the next few weeks. and as I enjoyed the half pumpkin muffin that I just ate, I was grateful for sweet things.
I do a lot of wishing for easier times. I know that if that would help me and my family, easier times would come. But we must have something to learn. I am grateful for the opportunities to repent and try to learn what I need to know.
This post has really been for venting. If I don't respond as quickly to pleas for help, please be patient with me. I am trying to get it together. I want to do everything the Savior could possibly ask of me. I need a little time to fill my well. Thanks for all your drops.
3 comments:
From the first time we met and worked together in scouts, I have always believed you are amazing. You are continually giving me reasons to look up to you and want to be just like you when I grow up.
Thank You! You are a tender mercy for me. I admire you greatly and wish I could lighten your burdens.
It was wonderful to see you today. Thanks for stopping by. It was too brief, but we treasured every second we got to spend with you.
Don't know about you, but I thought conference was wonderful. I heard the things I needed to hear. I bet you did too.
Thanks for teaching me about Father in Heaven and about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It truly is good news! He really is there for us! I know He is! Hang in there Mom!
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