Monday, September 30, 2013

September Thoughts

I am not sure where this post will wander, but I am along for the ride. I really have an interesting life lately, swinging wildly from one emotion to another. (I think some people describe that as Bipolar?) I actually feel like I am in a tug of war with good and evil. My beautiful spring and summer seasons are gone...put away like holiday decorations in some dark box until a later date. I love the autumn but feel the melancholy of winter racing up the street to knock on my door. I was grateful for President Monson recognition of my feelings as a mother in his talk. I am torn. I feel a need to just sit out a few dances. Let someone else be in charge and directing the cruise. And underneath it all, my Heavenly Father is there with peace and comfort as I ask Him to help me. I realize that I really 'have it all'. But it is hard to be in Satan's world with bills, insurance, necessities, etc. crawling all around my emotions. Just when I think the Great American Nervous Breakdown is about to start, an angel flies in and rescues me for a few more hours
  I so enjoyed the weekend in the presence of my beautiful daughters. And they are so beautiful. I know I shouldn't have pride, but I wish they knew how stunning they are. Saturday afternoon, as I enjoyed them at Lacey's shower, I felt the Spirit whisper to me, that this was one of the tender mercies that I had been praying for.
 As I lay in my husbands arms and weep, I realize how blessed I am that he is patient and understanding and 'super'.
 As I look at our yard and the harvest from our garden, again, I am blessed. We have plenty to eat for the next few weeks. and as I enjoyed the half pumpkin muffin that I just ate, I was grateful for sweet things.
  I do a lot of wishing for easier times. I know that if  that would help me and my family, easier times would come. But we must have something to learn. I am grateful for the opportunities to repent and try to learn what I need to know.
This post has really been for venting. If I don't respond as quickly to pleas for help, please be patient with me. I am trying to get it together. I want to do everything the Savior could possibly ask of me. I need a little time to fill my well. Thanks for all your drops.